<figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ad131cde50b02f612be40c3?format=jpeg" height="2942" width="4413" alt="Andrea Manokian smiling by waterfront"><figcaption>After finding love, I left Los Angeles for Santa Barbara. Four years later, I'm still trying to establish a sense of belonging on the coast.<p class="copyright">Andrea Manokian</p></figcaption></figure><ul class="summary-list"><li>I grew up in Los Angeles and never thought I'd leave, but love led me to move to Santa Barbara.</li><li>It's been hard to live away from my community and try to make new friends in my 20s.</li><li>It's been hard getting used to the coastal culture, but I've become <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/reference/how-to-be-happy-alone" data-autoaffiliated="false">more comfortable being alone.</a></li></ul><p>I never imagined I'd <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/left-los-angeles-arizona-kids-eighties-childhood-2026-10">leave Los Angeles</a>. The city is where I was born and raised, and where my family, childhood friends, and all my favorite local hangouts are.</p><p>Then, I fell in love with a guy who lived a few hours away in Santa Barbara, the <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/favorite-east-coast-coastal-town-bethany-beach-delaware-local-recommendations-2026-7">coastal city</a> where he'd spent much of his life.</p><p>I moved, and didn't need much convincing to do so. <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/photos-see-inside-santa-barbara-house-shaped-like-a-whale-2023-7">Santa Barbara</a> was still in California, and it had my partner, accessible beaches, walkable pathways, and scenic vistas.</p><p>Soon, though, I realized just how different this coastal city was from where I was raised in Los Angeles County.</p><h2 id="88512e6d-c46e-4392-8a39-0d45ba4fb7be" data-toc-id="88512e6d-c46e-4392-8a39-0d45ba4fb7be"><strong>Making new friends proved to be difficult</strong></h2><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ad132092428f6b455812db6?format=jpeg" height="3648" width="5472" alt="Sky with string of lights above boardwalk area"><figcaption>There are perks to living by the coast, but it can feel isolating.<p class="copyright">Andrea Manokian</p></figcaption></figure><p><a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/los-angeles-things-to-know-before-visiting-from-a-local-2022-6">Growing up in Los Angeles</a>, I was surrounded by people in different stages of life — those still figuring it out, those already established, and those somewhere in between.</p><p>I was never too far from friends I'd made throughout my life, and they had their own friends whom I'd also become acquainted with. All this kinship is something I lost when I moved to Santa Barbara.</p><p>Here, I felt lonely without any sense of community or preexisting connections. I was suddenly mostly surrounded by my partner's childhood friends, college students, and our happily retired neighbors.</p><p>From where I stood, it felt like a lot of locals already belonged to an established clique and community. Many people I met had either never left Santa Barbara or had moved away for college and then returned.</p><p>In any place, it can feel especially tough to make <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/lonely-mid-20s-learned-how-to-be-better-friend-2025-8">new friends in your 20s</a> — especially because it's not uncommon to be on a completely different path than someone just a few years older than you.</p><p>Still, I tried putting myself out there on the Bumble BFF app and made a few connections, but none felt organic or long-lasting.</p><p>I found myself meeting many people my age who didn't plan to stick around. To them, Santa Barbara was a pass-through city or day-trip destination rather than a place to settle down.</p><h2 id="981bb7a5-5b48-4937-903c-170f7a732f3d" data-toc-id="981bb7a5-5b48-4937-903c-170f7a732f3d"><strong>Pastimes in a coastal city feel drastically different</strong></h2><p id="981bb7a5-5b48-4937-903c-170f7a732f3d">Even though I didn't <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/moving-to-new-different-state-relocating-reality-2025-11">relocate to a different state</a>, it felt like I had at times. For one, driving from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles is an hourslong commitment.</p><p id="981bb7a5-5b48-4937-903c-170f7a732f3d">I'd grown up in an inland part of California, where going to the beach was viewed as a special treat reserved for weekends when you were OK with spending hours stuck in traffic to get there.</p><p>Therefore, grabbing a latte and heading to the mall was seen as an acceptable pastime. I was in for a rude awakening by the coast.</p><p>Now, the closest mall is about an hour's drive away, and not having an outdoorsy pastime other than walking on the beach makes me feel more like a transplant than a local.</p><p>I was not shocked to discover that many people in Santa Barbara like to surf and play beach volleyball, though I was surprised to find out how big a deal pickleball is here.</p><p>Although I'm open to learning, I've never been athletically gifted, and many of these activities require a group, whereas I'm still trying to find even just a couple of people I feel comfortable around.</p><p>This has added to my challenges with making new friends. I still recall feeling like a complete outsider when I turned down an invite to a pickleball birthday party of a girl I'd just met on <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/bumble-bff-app-growth-opportunity-friends-dating-whitney-wolfe-herd-2025-8">Bumble BFF</a>.</p><p>The rest of her group jumped at the opportunity, but in all honesty, I didn't want to take away from her big day by having to be taught how to play the sport.</p><h2 id="d8fb855a-4d54-4f64-9313-4b1850fd658b" data-toc-id="d8fb855a-4d54-4f64-9313-4b1850fd658b"><strong>After moving, I also felt like I lost my sense of cultural identity</strong></h2><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ad131e6e50b02f612be40c4?format=jpeg" height="3648" width="5472" alt="Woman sitting on grass near waterfront"><figcaption>I still find myself missing parts of where I used to live.<p class="copyright">Andrea Manokian</p></figcaption></figure><p>In Los Angeles, I spent much of my time in my hometown of Glendale, a city known for its large Armenian diaspora.</p><p>Being an American-Armenian, I'd frequently indulge in cultural foods, visit <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/armenians-gumi-shuka-market-sells-dried-fruit-spices-and-lavash-2020-9">Armenian markets</a>, and comfortably speak my native language to those around me. I never realized how rooted I was in my cultural identity until I moved away.</p><p>One day, it hit me. I no longer have access to my favorite cultural hubs, and I still find myself calling relatives as an excuse to practice the language I grew up with.</p><h2 id="fc5a1f5a-61b4-4bb3-9a09-2054dfae8557" data-toc-id="fc5a1f5a-61b4-4bb3-9a09-2054dfae8557"><strong>It's been 4 years since I moved, and I'm making the most of it</strong></h2><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ad13209e50b02f612be40c7?format=jpeg" height="3648" width="5472" alt="Deck jutting out into waterfront with clear skies above"><figcaption>Adopting a coastal lifestyle has been healing and isolating.<p class="copyright">Andrea Manokian</p></figcaption></figure><p>Four years since moving, I can attest that the first two were the most difficult. In time, I found a way to make the most of living here.</p><p>I began diving headfirst into philanthropy and giving back. I became an active volunteer with organizations like the <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/american-red-cross-blood-demand-shortage-gen-z-donate-less-2024-1">American Red Cross</a>, The Dream Foundation, and ENGin. This work has been incredibly healing, and it's made me feel silly for dwelling on life's minor inconveniences.</p><p>I also started writing for a local magazine, which has given me the opportunity to meet talented artists, designers, and business owners I otherwise would not have had the privilege of speaking with.</p><p>In the midst of it all, I've become extremely comfortable with being alone. I've started dining alone with a book, visiting museums by myself, and catching movies solo.</p><p>Although I <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/got-better-at-making-friends-avoid-loneliness-2025-7">haven't found my tribe</a> yet, I've found a loving life partner and a city that's rich in coastal beauty, creative energy, and slow living. All I can do is continue showing up for my new community and hope that the right people will find me at the right time.</p><div class="read-original">Read the original article on <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/moved-from-los-angeles-to-santa-barbara-still-struggling-coast-2026-11">Business Insider</a></div>
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