<figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ab6e13d265e3f8e338f759e?format=jpeg" height="900" width="1200" alt="Adult cuddles a baby in a red patterned shirt while seated on a dark couch."><figcaption>The author said she always stayed nearby when her kids were younger, never leaving them for a night until they were in kindergarten.<p class="copyright">Courtesy of Wendy Wisner.</p></figcaption></figure><ul class="summary-list"><li>When my kids were young, I practiced co-sleeping and followed some attachment-style practices.</li><li>I didn't spend a night away from them until they were in kindergarten.</li><li>Despite others' judgment and my own worries, my kids are well-adjusted, independent young adults.</li></ul><p>When my kids were little, I knew so many parents who used babysitters or went away for a few nights without their kids. I understood — many parents have to work and need time away from their kids for their own well-being. But that just never was me.</p><p>In my kids' first few years of life, I never <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/travel-with-parents-son-at-home-grateful-2026-7">hired a babysitte</a>r, and I never spent a night away from them. In fact, it wasn't till my kids were in Kindergarten that they ever spent a night away from me.</p><p>At the time, I definitely judged myself for these choices, simply because I didn't know many other families like mine. I thought maybe I was being too overbearing or clingy, or that I was messing my kids up in some way.</p><p>Now I accept that this was just the right choice for me at the time, and now that my kids are older, thriving, and independent, I have no regrets about my choices when they were small.</p><h2 id="9065a3dc-481e-474a-8f1a-b9de583c40f3" data-toc-id="9065a3dc-481e-474a-8f1a-b9de583c40f3">I was a SAHM mom who breastfed and co-slept</h2><p>When my first child was born, I realized that going back to the adjunct teaching job I'd had before she was born didn't <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/millennial-parents-kids-age-gap-childcare-costs-fertility-2026-8">make sense financially</a>. Paying for transportation into the city and childcare while I was gone would mean barely breaking even. So, even though money was tight on one salary, my husband and I agreed that staying home with the kids when they were young was the best choice.</p>
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<p>Do you have a hot take on a common parenting belief? Email Jennifer Beck Goldblatt at <a target="_blank" href="mailto:jgoldblatt@insider.com">jgoldblatt@insider.com</a> to share your experience with Business Insider.</p>
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<p>I was accustomed to being my kids' primary caregiver, and the idea of teaching someone else how to put them down for a nap or prepare the foods they liked sounded overwhelming. Plus, we were on a strict budget, so the idea of <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/new-parent-leaving-daughter-with-babysitter-milestone-2025-12">hiring someone</a> to care for them so that I could spend time alone, with friends, or with my husband, just didn't seem like a good idea.</p><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ab6e243265e3f8e338f75a9?format=jpeg" height="453" width="604" alt="Person seated on a wooden lawn chair holding a small child wrapped in a hooded towel on grass."><figcaption>The author said she found it difficult to want to be apart from her children when they were young.<p class="copyright">Courtesy of Wendy Wisner.</p></figcaption></figure><p>But it was more than that, too. I breastfed my babies for several years, into toddlerhood. They also <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/family-co-sleeping-same-bed-experience-2024-7">bedshared or co-slept</a> with me for years, even after they stopped nursing. This made separation difficult, especially at night. They relied on me to fall asleep and stay asleep. These attachment-style parenting choices aren't for everyone, but I loved parenting my kids this way. I enjoyed the closeness, and it just felt right, instinctually.</p><h2 id="bbdf577b-091b-41b7-bac4-ee29d1826926" data-toc-id="bbdf577b-091b-41b7-bac4-ee29d1826926">Not everyone understood my choices</h2><p>The thing was, I was really comfortable with my choices not to spend time away from my kids. I didn't crave the separation, and I didn't need childcare for practical reasons.</p><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ab6e1ded15f8a572974adf5?format=jpeg" height="1365" width="2048" alt="Two people lean over a terracotta planter filled with soil on newspapers indoors."><figcaption>The author said others often questioned her on not leaving her kids with other caregivers..<p class="copyright">Courtesy of Wendy Wisner.</p></figcaption></figure><p>But I definitely still <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/moms-need-to-stop-judging-each-other-parenting-2023-9">experienced some judgment</a> from others. Extended family members told me my kids needed to get used to other caregivers, and they implied that my choices might stunt their development. Close friends hinted that I might ruin my marriage if I didn't have <a target="" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/stopping-date-night-saved-my-marriage-2024-2">date nights</a> with my husband.</p><p>But the harshest critic was probably myself. Despite my kids being well-adjusted toddlers and preschoolers, a voice still questioned whether I was doing the right thing for them. Were they never going to be able to separate from me? Would they be sleeping in my bed forever? Was I sabotaging my mental health without knowing it?</p><h2 id="524c1fae-a676-4920-95dc-2df97c7d1cbf" data-toc-id="524c1fae-a676-4920-95dc-2df97c7d1cbf">My kids are grown and extremely independent</h2><p>My kids are big now. My oldest is in her sophomore year of college, and my youngest just started high school. Those years of breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and no babysitters or nights away are long gone.</p><figure><img src="https://i.insider.com/6ab6e2ceeb7225411267ae7b?format=jpeg" height="636" width="960" alt="A person in a gray sweater holds a sleeping baby wrapped in a dark blanket indoors."><figcaption>The author admits there were times that she doubted her choices, but says her kids have grown into independent individuals.<p class="copyright">Courtesy of Wendy Wisner.</p></figcaption></figure><p>My kids have had normal lives and have developed into independent, creative, free spirits. My college kid had no problem adjusting to life away from home. My high schooler just spent a week away with extended family this past summer and barely answered my texts.</p><p>Obviously, other parents of young kids don't have to be as extreme as I was. But if you are a parent who's waiting till your kids are older to leave them with a sitter or spend a night away, I want to assure you that this can be a perfectly reasonable choice. There's nothing wrong with you, and your kids are going to be alright.</p><div class="read-original">Read the original article on <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/attachment-parenting-didnt-make-kids-clingy-independent-2026-9">Business Insider</a></div>
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